4.5 Down, 4.5 To Go

Months, that is. Somehow my study abroad experience has already reached the halfway point. It's a surreal feeling. I remember arriving in September and thinking shit. Nine months is a long time, I don't know if I can do this. And then I blinked and here we are. The past four and a half months have been incredible to say the least. There have of course been ups and downs, that roller coaster that the global ed people spoke about before we left is a very real thing, but I really am so happy to be here and so grateful to be having this experience. I couldn't do it without all of your support, so thanks to all of you for coming along for the journey!

It's definitely true that study abroad changes you. I don't know if it changes you on a super complex level where you're a whole new being by the end of it (though I'm not finished yet, so who knows!) but I can definitely feel small changes taking place. For one thing, I'm much more easy going now than I was in September. Compared to most people I am still not at all easy going, but for me, I am. And that's progress. I've learned to go with the flow more and enjoy the art of relaxation. I definitely feel much more capable now than I did in September. After planning countless trips, including a six day, multi-city Italian adventure, I know that I can organize basically anything.. though maybe I already knew that. Regardless, traveling does make you realize your place in the world a bit more clearly. We get trapped in our bubbles and forget that we make up a tiny tiny part of this huge world. Traveling from city to city and country to country made me realize that fact. I have learned, and continue to learn, so much about language and how we communicate during my time here. Language is a fundamental part of who we are and an aspect of life that I feel we take for granted. Only by coming to France did I realize how much of my life is defined by what language I speak. Plus, I realized how lucky I am to have been born in an english-speaking country and be a native english speaker. It really is the universal language and it has allowed me to communicate in countries where I do not speak the language (i.e. Italy and Spain.. and sometimes France.. just kidding..). I guess maybe that's the biggest thing that I have taken away thus far; it's important to go outside of your comfort zone and what's familiar to you in order to see life and the world in which we live more clearly. It's a big place out there and it's easy to find your home away from home, you just have to work at it. Toulouse no longer feels like vacation or a foreign city to me. In a weird way, it feels like this odd little home.

That was rambly (is that a word?), I know. I'm trying to reflect on these last four and half months and it's difficult to put in to words how I feel. Maybe in May I'll have a more synthesized reflection for you. Until then, I have finals to study for because, yeah, it's still first semester here in France (for two more days at least).