Don't Be Afraid, Just Be Excited

A wise friend (you know who you are) said this to me recently and I have adopted it as my motto for the year.

The past few days have been crazy. Saying goodbye to friends and family has been insanely difficult, especially saying goodbye to Stephgirl at airport security an hour ago (Miss you already mommy! Yeah I said mommy. No shame.) Packing was another fiasco these past couple of days. Somehow we managed to fit all of my crap into a giant suitcase, a huge skiing duffel bag, and my carry on suitcase. I will never be able to do it again in May. We did end up paying a teensy bit extra for having two bags and both of them being overweight.. But it's fine. 

The hardest part about my final days of summer though was controlling the swarm of butterflies living inside of my stomach. (Gross mental image? Sorry.) I have been anxious 24/7 for at least the past four days. I think it's because it's finally happening. That thing that I wrote about in all of my college applications, ya know study abroad, is actually here! I'm seriously going to France. And for an entire academic year no less! It's just so hard to wrap my head around. I don't think it's ever going to feel real. 

So as I sit here at JFK (Side note - I LOVE airports. They are literally my favorite places. And I love flying. If this makes me weird, well, suck it.) I just need to not be afraid and instead start getting excited. I need to forget my anxieties about speaking French all of the time, making mistakes, having awkward moments, and the rest of my list of nagging thoughts. Instead I need to get excited about flying on a 747 (Could I BE anymore excited?! Who gets my reference?), living in another country, becoming totally fluent in another language (What the what?! Anyone?), traveling around France and Europe, and everything else that comes with having a new adventure. I think I can do it. In fact, I know I can do it. Time for these butterflies to fly away.